Love is a gamble. We always tend to invest ourselves into relationships where we have no guarantee it lasting. That’s why when a relationship ends; it hurts us and wrecks our balances one way or another. For many, the first impulse is to fix the cracked relationship. But for others, the relationship is already broken beyond repair and each has no choice but to move on.
Fact of the matter is, break-ups are a fact of life and whether you’re the one who broke it off or the one who got your heart broken, breaking off a relationship is a very difficult thing to do. But fear not, for every challenge we face we persist, we thrive. We just need a little push in the right direction. Here a few reminders for reclaiming your power and recovering emotional equilibrium.
Take a break from Social Media
Let’s face it. All social networking sites can be very lonely for a newly single person, not only because of the strong temptation to stalk your ex, but also because it gives you an unnecessary view into the history of your relationship, waiting for your overthinking brain to pick it apart to see what had gone wrong. To say the least, it’s very unhealthy.
You can’t control your heart, and seeing the reminders of a love lost might not be the best thing to see on an everyday basis. Lingering in the virtual remains of an old relationship keeps you away from moving towards greener pastures. Maybe completely cutting off your ex from every social media platform is both rash and immature, but stepping away from that climate would be the best course of action. It’s a needed break, and it’s a perfect opportunity to gather your thoughts and process your feelings before jumping into the platform once again.
Instead, live your life outside the virtual space. Find your support system and hang out with them. Have a friend that you lost touch with when you were in the relationship? Try and reconnect. Or you can go out with your tribe and take a weekend road trip. Don’t deny yourself life outside of what you shaped your life to be in social media. You can shape your life in the real world, too.
One of the things that we probably forget to do whenever we are in a relationship is to invest in ourselves. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in the other person, or in our relationship that we don’t really think to invest on things that would make ourselves better. Self-care is important, whatever your relationship status is.
Aside from skin care, sleeping in, and treating yourself to nice things, self-care entails being patient with yourself and processing your feelings. Learn to embrace the pain, the joy, the longing that the relationship and its ending have caused you and be okay with yourself feeling those feelings. Give yourself room to grieve and process your emotions. Resilience takes time to build, but it’s only gonna be a matter of time.
Part of self-care means surrounding yourself with supportive people. Find your tribe and run with it. There are always people who will be in your corner. Allow them to take care of you. You don’t have to do this alone.
Don’t move on, move forward
Okay, so this gets a little skewed moving down the grapevine. Moving on and away from your ex before you’re fully ready only increases your distress and anxiety. Were you are right now is precisely where you belong, and trying to force yourself out of it will only cause you pain.
Instead, envision yourself moving forward. It means you acknowledge that at a certain point, you won’t get yourself stuck in your current mind space, because it will get you nowhere in the long run. Try and experiment with a new life strategy. Find a new job. Immerse yourself in a new environment. Allow yourself to grow in empathy. Don’t fight the current, flow and dance through the rain.
And, if you’re destined to be with your beloved, moving forward simply brings you into a better place to make that happen.
Take one day at a time, you can do this.